Sam Bond's

Elena and I went out to Sam Bond’s last night, and we had a good old drunken time.

I texted Erik and told him that I was out and that I didn’t like him at the moment. And he texted me back “I miss you, too.”

Then we started texting more and he ended up coming over at one thirty in the morning. We sat inside his truck and talked for two and a half hours, and then he came in and stayed the night. Mao was being a brat, and we both slept badly. We had another talk this morning and came to an agreement about the way we were going to try to conduct ourselves in the coming month and a half or so before he leaves.

I feel confident and peaceful.

April 20, 2009

Now I have some more nuggets of wisdom:
No more architects.
Don’t date anyone who doesn’t like chocolate.
Don’t date anyone with a Jackson Pollack inspired tattoo.
Never buy a box of condoms for a guy.
Don’t date any more fucking Scorpios. Ever.

I don't know what's going on with me lately, but I know that I am not pleased and there are certainly things that are bumming me out. Is it enough to have an intellectual equal, an equal on par with the practical side of day to day living, a somewhat sexual equal? I feel there is something missing. Perhaps I need an emotional equal, someone who looks at love and being in the same way as I do. Maybe this sort of equality is not in the realm of emotion but one of a more practical nature. I am unsure. Maybe this is the source of my problem. I don't think that either Erik or myself is wrong. I just don't think we mesh emotionally. I feel neglected. I want someone to adore me. But I've said this before.

Nevertheless, I am holding out a bit longer. Perhaps things will improve, but I know from past experience that this is hardly ever true. Character never changes. The problems that arise between Erik and me are issues of personality, not of feeling, per se. I believe that he does care about me, but he acts these feelings out differently than I do. This is the problem.

Yesterday was Easter, and I missed my family tons. Erik and I met up for a coffee/ breakfast/ study date in the morning, and we read for a couple of hours. I like these times that we have. They are always so special to me.