crazy little thing called love

I am going crazy. I don’t know what to do with myself. There are two weeks left of school, and I am an emotional mess. I can’t read or concentrate. I am making myself sick because of Erik. He has no clue. He has no idea how I feel about him or the fact that he’s making me insane. I can’t help but question my being. How do I let this happen to myself? Why am I always to ready to give myself up to whoever I fall for? I have fallen for him. Vanessa said as much. I was ranting and raving at work, and I told her that I felt sick about him. She made a comment about me acting like I was in love with him. And that threw me, and I said that I wasn’t in love with him, and she said well, you’re acting like you are. How can this be happening? How am I falling for him? How have I fallen for him? Is it only because he’s not emotionally available? Am I falling in the same trap as usual?
He’s going to be gone this summer. I don’t know if I can handle all this.

I’m sick right now, which is making it extremely difficult to concentrate.